Monday, October 5, 2015

Fundamental Theorem of Humanities: PooPourri is an Epic Commercial

SOOOOO, This topic I'm about to bring up is something integral to STM Humanities. Sorry this post is a load.

I'm not sure everyone here has heard of PooPourri (No not Potpourri, as Breuna first thought I meant when I introduced it to the class). I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I introduced it to the majority of you.
If not, I beg that you watch this commercial titled "girls don't poop" (remember that)
Most of my classmates mocked me for saying this, but PooPourri is an EPIC. I'm here to prove it and flush those doubts away.
First of all, to be classified as an epic, a work must have certain characteristics:
1) The setting is vast in scope
2) Divine Intervention
3) Grand Simplicity and Sustained Elevation
4) Deeds of Great Valor and Courage
5) Hero who embodies values of society and is of great significance or legend.

"How the Inferno are you going to prove that!?" asks Abbey.
Fear not young one, I am prepared for this, it is my doody.

1). This is the easiest to prove, as you can tell by watching the commercial that the setting is vast in scope, changing constantly from bathroom, to party, to office, to cow field. 

2). Isn't PooPourri divine enough? Science is the modern deity and technology is its intervention. Every culture has a different god, is it so outlandish to say that Science can be a god here?

3). I mean, have you heard this girl speak? It's like the queen of England is lecturing us on "how to properly rid the horrendous odor of our brown astronauts." The language is very poetic and befitting of an epic.

4). Imagine yourself telling the world about your poop, about telling everyone that it stinks. That takes a lot of valor and courage. She does this, however, for the good of humanity. If that isn't respectfully courageous than I don't know what it.

5). This one's the biggest stretch, yes bigger than number 2 (not that kind of number 2 you nasty). This woman is a heroine, as she is struggling to save relationships and people from embarrassment. The epic battle she fights in is against the smell of bowel movements. She embodies the value that humans don't poop. A denial of shit -> Kitsch? No but really, we don't like to recognize that everybody poops and we also don't want people's poop to smell. She embodies the notion that people poop in secret, and that it doesn't smell with the power invested in PooPourri. She is a legend, as she has brought this magical power to humankind, in different scents as well!

The Scents:
Call of the Wild (recommended for Antonio)
Daisy Doo (recommended for Ashley)
Deja' Poo (recommended for Belin)
Party Pooper
Poo La La (recommended for Cheyenne)
Bass Awkward 
Heavy Doody 
Royal Flush (recommended for Abbey)
Toot Fairy (recommended for Madison Cummings)
Potty Mouth (Breath Mint) (recommended for Jack Zheng)
Sweet Cheeks (recommended for Jaclyn)
Poo-Dolph (recommended for Madison Kahn)
North Bowl
Trap-a-Crap (recommended for Anastasia)
....and more!

Also side note, these conventions also poop up in the commercial, further proving my point:
- medias reas
- begins with statement of theme
- epithets and epic smilies
- long formal speech
- epic digressions
- epic talisman
- catalogues

What other commercials are epic in nature? *Cough* Old Spice *Cough*


Abbey said...

I read somewhere that the popular movie we all know and love, Mean Girls, can also be considered an epic. Like you mentioned, some epic characteristics include a setting that is vast in scope, divine intervention, outstanding hero, grand simplicity of language and sustained elevation, deeds of great valor that require courage, flashbacks. Mean Girls actually has all of these characteristics! In an attempt to find the website where I read this, I found this quote that I think perfectly sums up the evidence that proves Mean Girl's epic-ness--"A hero [Cady Heron] ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder ["Girl World"]: fabulous forces ["the Plastics"] are there encountered and a decisive victory is won [Regina George and Aaron Samuels break up]: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons [popularity] on his fellow man [Gretchen Weiners and Karen Smith]" ( This article offers a lot of interesting points and relations and I encourage everyone to read it! It is not only truthful but also very entertaining.

Iris Mire said...

We literally just talked about this today in my Reading Cultures class. I'm trying to convince them that you could potentially read Ovid's Metamorphoses as an epic and had to go through all the conventions and characteristics.

msking said...

I miss y'all, Sri and Iris! I'm glad you're still reading and posting to the blog. Keep it up! xoxo