It's Complicated...

First of all, I want to say that I’m really enjoying reading Things Fall Apart.  That being said, some parts of the novel, and my thoughts on it, are kind of confusing—namely, the treatment of women.  I’m really going to talk about the major pieces that baffle me, although there are definitely other lines I could mention (like the fact that all the women are basically taught to run away from the ancestral spirits, but, of course, the men are not).

First of all, it’s very, very weird to me that women are regularly beaten, and that that practice is acceptable, in the culture Achebe describes.  Weirder is that the women also seem to be quite accepting of these beatings.  For example, when Okonkwo beats one of his wives, she seems to shake it off (dare I say) relatively quickly, even snarking at him quite soon afterwards.  Ekwefi even casually describes to Chielo how Okonkwo tried to shoot her with a gun.   In other words, the beating and shooting don’t seem to instill fear in, uh, well, any of the women, while we would obviously see such actions as domestic violence and deserving of a restraining order. 

Some people say the practice of polygamy is also sexist.  Having never lived in a culture where polygamy is accepted, I can’t say that I can quite wrap my mind around it, though I’d have to think more on the matter in order to label it as “sexist.” 

I’m also torn between hardcore judging and believing I’m really not in a place to judge, on two accounts.  (Which also confuses me.)  First of all, am I really able to pass judgement on an entire culture?  Second of all, to me, part of feminism means giving women the right to choose, instead of blabbering about what’s best for ALL women.  So maybe some women accept cultural aspects that really bewilder me, surprise me, and even make me personally recoil a little—is it my place to judge that?  Then again, how am I supposed to condone violence against anyone, including women, even if it’s acceptable to the people who are being beaten?  It’s all a moral conundrum to me.  I definitely have my personal opinions about how I would enjoy such an atmosphere, but I’m just not sure if my personal opinions are applicable or even relevant enough to express.  Which, again, also makes me feel bad because I really cannot reconcile beating women.  If we were just talking about in the United States, I’d say there is no circumstance ever under which I could say domestic violence is acceptable (except in cases of self defense, but I don’t think that falls under the same category).

Thoughts, anyone?