Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Is Love A Choice?

In Midnight's Children, Amina does not really love Ahmed but she forces herself to love him day by day by picking a feature to admire each day. This concept reminded me of a post that I saw on the internet. It basically said that some young people were asked if love was a choice or a feeling and they all said a feeling. When older, married couples were asked, they all said a choice. This study became an observation of the difference between a working relationship and one that will eventually fail. This study definitely relates to how Amina chooses to fall in love with Ahmed. Do you think love is a choice?

6 comments:

Jaclyn Murphy said...

I know this is not the direction your post was going in, but it brings up a great point. In homosexuality, many question whether love (the right to gay marriage) is a choice or a feeling. Many youths of today, as you stated, feel as if they cannot choose who to love. Lots of older Americans believe that being gay is a choice (reworded, that love is a choice.) I personally believe that you cannot choose who you love. If it was possible to choose who to love, we obviously would not fall in love with people that are bad for us. However, I do think it is possible to make yourself fall in love with someone. Just as in the African culture, if you are required to marry someone, you will learn to tolerate, and even love, them so that you are not miserable. My opinion is that love is not a choice, but it is possible to love someone of your choosing.

Sri Korrapati said...

Also, in Indian culture the idea of arranged marriages kind of supports both the feeling and the choice. As they are forced to get married, they don't really have time to have the feeling of love, but they do choose to love their spouse regardless. However as they don't get to choose who to love, they must develop the feeling of love after marriage.

Cheyenne Dwyer said...

I really like where you took that Jaclyn. Personally I think that love is a feeling as well, and you can't help who you love. But at the same time it is a choice. You have to have the right attitude and be willing to put in the effort to make it work. So while love starts as a feeling, after that point it's a constant choice. I think it's really sad that in these cultures, marriage isn't really for love but for status. I feel like that's also a main reason for the adultery.

master123 said...

I did read somewhere a while ago, but I promis it was a reputable source, that arranged marriages were more likely to succeed compared to most marragies in the US. Know, do I remember what their reasoning was? No I do not, but what I could assume is what we learned with Mrs. Quinet. Dharma, one own duty, a very important concept in the Hindu religion. I suspect that this is why the arranged marriages supposedly work so well; it is because of dharma.

madison kahn said...

Personally, I don't think love is a choice. I think you feel connected to someone automatically and that develops into love. Even though it may not start out as love, it eventually comes. But, the individual does not really chose for the feeling to come. After a while, it just sort of happens. Like someone said above, if we could chose who to love, why would we love people who are bad to us? Why would their be abusive relationships and things of that sort? for example, Amina felt an initial connection to Ahmed and love developed from there.

Madison Cummings said...

I can see where you are coming from Anastasia. I think that those in arranged marriages go in to the marriage not expecting much of an instant spark, but know that it is their dharma or duty to make the marriage work. I think by working on the relationship and constantly focusing on it and putting energy into it, eventually they find love and are able to have a successful relationship. Maybe arranged marriages are successful because both people know that they need to put effort into the relationship constantly for it to work out.